Sunday, February 22, 2009

THERE, NEVER BEFORE...!!!

hello friends.....i am being very busy these days that i hardly get time to write an article....so here is my first ever short story on fiction...i had had an experience of writing love stories, writing problem raising stories, writing fantasies but this is the first attempt on fiction...i dont know if it is good but i thought i will let you people judge me..!!!

*************THERE NEVER BEFORE*****************


A sudden thunder woke me up and I could feel the cool breezes flowing outside. I switched on the light but there was no power. I was afraid of the darkness, adding to it were different sounds heard from outside. I managed to get up and move out from my room, but nothing was seen except the darkness. I counted my steps, was a pass time when I was alone, and went to the candle stand that was standing near the staircase that leads to the main living room. I lit the candles and took one of it by hand and carried it to my parent’s room. The way was all dark with a small light, but still I found it different now. The paintings on the wall were different; the furniture is changed. It seems like everything changed with just a power cut.
I knocked my parent’s room but there was no answer. I thought they were still sleeping and so opened the door myself. I could not see the room properly as the candle light was not just enough. When I managed to see, I couldn’t believe my eyes. My parents were not there.
I was shocked and couldn’t think about what was happening. In that colossal building I was alone and moreover, I didn’t know where my parents were. I couldn’t stop the tears rolling down my eyes.

I went back to the living room with the same candle in my hand, but couldn’t think of any place where I could find my parents. While this was squeezing my brain, I observed that the objects in the living room are all scattered. The fear rose in me and I was unable to move. Suddenly the candle blew off.

I wanted to shout for help, but couldn’t do it because of the fear that blocked my throat. I wanted to call my father’s mobile and so got up from the sofa and started moving to the phone that’s there near the stair case. On my way, something struck my foot, I was taken aback.
It was a wet palm and when I shook it, the sound of the bangles tensed me. I couldn’t think whose it was but was having lots of doubts in my mind. I then again started counting my steps back and went in the way of the other candle stand and lit one candle. I hurriedly brought it to the place I was standing a moment before, I could see my mother’s sari with some red stains, and I then hurried the candle to the face. This made the candle get blew off once again. I went back to the place I got it and lit it once again, this time I could feel my heart beating very hard, and my hands were shivering. I went back to the old place, to see who it was.

The light was just on to the face, by then I was almost confirmed that it was my mom but still wanted to assure. When the light was getting on to the face, my phone rang.

Then I realized this was all a dream.

*************************************************************************************

hows my first attempt on fiction??? please let me know for the mistakes or any changes to be made...!!!

8 comments:

Unknown said...

thats nice yam.....
i was feared while reading ur storyy...thought it was real...thank god that was a dream....

but urs was a very nice attempt thats soo nice....

keep writing these stories too dear

Lucifer said...

ohhh that was vy good...vy intriguin...keep writin :)

Mysterious Mia said...

tahths a very nice first attempt babes.....i am not into stories so i wont be able to critic it but i liked it...good one.....it was easy to understand n simple....keep it coming babes

Hemanth Potluri said...

it was a good one :)..

urs..hemu..

Anonymous said...

bad dream...!
oh my God...scary but nice attempt Yam-continue:)

Jeevan said...

In a word its fantastic! very interesting. your narration brought me something to imagine the moment.

Mysterious Mia said...

where are u babes...miss u

sathish said...

Good,,,,,,,,,,,
small little frightening story,,,,,,,,,,,